In this episode of Revengecast, we’re really rushed to publicize that Evan Minto is going to be doing a special episode of #YFI with us this Thursday night (so get us your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org!) which is to say: I do an even worse job leveling the audio than I normally do and I know what you’re saying “an ounce of mic discipline is worth a pound of single-band compressor+hard limiterx4 then normalize” but if I learned how to do that, like Homer Simpson and the wine-making course, I fear I’d lose the space in my brain where my encyclopedic knowledge of MMO loot tables lives??
Iiiiiiit’s Revengecast, the only podcast about the only show where bullets shoot you so hard in the ova you can’t have babies no more. And if you’re worried I just ripped the major punch of the episode wide open… Well I kinda did…
But luckily this episode is FULL of punches. Like when Jack punches Danny, or like the two Niko [Robin] (i guess we’re calling her that?) lands on directly on Emily’s gun-shot ovas to convince her to “man up” (her words not mine okay???) and stop pussyfooting around the memory of her father, “the great warrior,” Ronald Takeda (okay so I don’t remember if she actually said “man up” but she definitely said that).
But enough about Niko and her bizarre and ill-fitting insertion into the otherwise rigid and unimpeachable Revenge chronology, we’re “Note-lan” a few things all over this island!!! Like wondering why Danny is bumming around at Voulez sporting a fresh shiner and also going to the stowaway and acquiring a fresh shiner and also stalking and/or menacing Sarah Catamantello(-Paddingtonbeara) at her trash hovel-cum-illegal day care-cum-apartment inside a literal construction site instead of standing by his gut-shot (and subsequently gut-punched) wife. As Bruce Willis probably said in that movie–how wude!
You know what else is rude? Hitting people on the head with bricks, Patrick! Now, by this point we all know Danny is a fuck, but now we hate Patrick again too?? I swear we just started liking the guy!
Well, you know what they say, “you can’t force love OR hate,” but I certainly never would’ve imagined that sweet, innocent Patrick, the first (cast-off) child of Victoria Grayson (née Harper) would be capable of sinking to such dastardly deeds.
You know what I would expect? Victoria to rub it in! And boy oh boy, does she ever! Like in two separate scenes because in the first one she’s just like “haha you got shot, also have a pastry, also the pastries are a consolation gift for your newfound inability to bear hale and hearty scions of your lineage” and in the second one she’s like “haha you got shot, also no pastries this time, also still no babies, also you’re pooooor” (not really seeing how that one lines up, but, well, you know). I would also expect Margaux to flip-flop several times about a course of action but I think this is the finest episode to date, wherein two people both convince her to doubt her instincts, to NOT doubt her instincts, and then to doubt her instincts once more. Hooeee, that’s a ratio sliced finer than brie cheese!
Danny’s on the ropes, Emily’s on the ropes, Nolan’s on Hoarder’s for his crippling jacket edition, and you know there’s a dark (and possibly sensual) object lurking within the warm, fluffy interior of that innocuous stuffed animal. All this, and the return of everyone’s favorite quiz show “Cookie or Candy Bar or Dog Breed” all in the scant span of 131 minutes? Woah nelly! Call us Cobblin’ Carol, because we must’ve needed a shoehorn to pack it all in!!!
ANYWAY. FORTNITE IS A VIDEOGAME SO IF YOU DON’T WANNA HEAR ABOUT IT SKIP TO 15:00.
ALSO I SORTA SPOIL SOMETHING FROM LAST SEASON’S GAME OF THRONES SO SKIP FROM 17:00 TO 20:00
LOOK JUST GENERALLY KEEP YOUR EARS UP I GUESS BUT AT THIS POINT WHO EVEN CARES ABOUT GAME OF THRONES SPOILERS THAT SHOW, as Graziella said three times after we watched the last episode, IS LITERALLY WRITTEN BY FOUR-YEAR-OLDS.
(send us your questions!)
Topics for Consideration:
The Siberian Husky Rescue Dog Rescue D.O.G. (the p is silent)
Sub Zero’s Cousin-Brother, Scorpion
A Fundamental Misunderstanding in the Italian Localization of Look Who’s Talking
FLESH IS GROSS
BlueSpine by Cronenberg
Eat Your Profiterole, Brian
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