It’s Revengecast! The show that takes us a months per single episode of a long-dead TV show to record and then when we finally do we accidentally ruin the file and take another whole week to record it. But hey, our lack of ability to keep to even a vague and/or general and/or not-completely-meaningless/in-name-only schedule is why you love us!
It is also, not coincidentally, a least a little bit of why we don’t we have a Patreon! But hey, we can’t all be CHAMBO TRAMBOPS.
So anyway I’m gonna blitz through this as fast as I can because in the 24 hours since this Revengecast was recorded I managed to drop a whole glass (technically it was a mason jar) of water on my computer in such a way that the glass straight up exploded and water got everywhere and let me the first to sorrowfully inform you the AIDRIA TECHNIQUE did NOTHING to save it.
So anyway got some salt about that.
You know what else is salty? THE OCEAN. Where EMILY CURRENTLY LIVES with her freshly delivered pair of bouncing baby BULLET WOUNDS courtesy of Danny who for some reason was upset about being told he was a father (in fairness, because it led to Sara Paddingtonbeara’s attempted suicide but wow, talk about burying the lede there Danno). So Emily got shot and we left her out on the ocean for this 6-ish weeks like “???” Only for her to end up on some gnarly-ass fishing boat being basically fine except for her plot amnesia which, thankfully, and yes there is a god, is at least resolved by the end of the episode in a way that almost makes it worth it.
Meanwhile: everyone’s got a story about where they were and what they were doing while Emily shot. With the combined powers of Charlock Hound and the reopening of Jashley Investigations (ft. Margaux) we tug taut these tangled tales into a swollen web of falsehood that you can only read one way: Lydia.
Oh Lydia, I’d feel sorry for you if you weren’t the worst. As it stands, you’re just the bad version of Margaux–equally as hapless and misinformed about your position in the world, but totally supercilious about it. In the parlance of our streamcasts, we summarize this attitude with the acronym “I-M-T-B”
And boy oh boy has there never been a more “IM” for “TB” to be than Lydia Davis. So of course they were gonna put the blame on you, you big, dumb baby–they’re Graysons! It was in the cards long before your ill-conceived plan to do the thing that’s been the cover art of this podcast for approximately 5 years completely without context. Well, red wine, your day in the sun has finally come! And people can finally know what that climactic shot of descending merlot truly means, except for how we replaced it with the Everything In The World Is Either A Potato Or Not A Potato image like a year ago, so once more for old times!
…oh right in the course of writing this post I forgot that image is always at the top of the post…
Is Charlotte the worst detective who ever lived? What dark secrets does Margaux Lemarchal hid on her nefarious memory stixx?? Will Conrad and Danny ever “Jash” it out or will their tamped rage finally boil over like an overstuffed pot of idaho golds??? Will Graz log on in time to complete her grand company dailies??? I don’t know, but I’ll tell you one thing: Revengecast is back & it’ll never leave you again!
Except for the part where I have to go frantically google “apple care liquid damage macbook air” like six thousand more times before my appointment on Wednesday just in case Apple changes their mind on the subject in the meantime.
Topics for Consideration:
Eldorast, Wizard of the Blue, Scion of the Seventh Age
The Dangers of “Bodycon”
One Degree of YRP
The Beautiful Potpourri of My Supposed Innocence
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