Dave starts out by insisting we shouldn’t go on tangents then tenderly holds our hands as he hurls us down a Destiny/Nerd Paraphernalia/Youtube celebrity rabbit hole that lasts about 12 minutes. Then its a very Mason episode, Mason Mason Mason!!! How shall we describe all the Mason? Mason is, in his very special Mason way, being very Mason about everything. We get to hear his voice mail message, which is also his Twitter bio.
Mason is practically begging Amanda to crush his skull, bringing up the Baby Carl and her new life with Jack and then being all creepy-salacious about Amanda and Emily’s time in juvie. Mason this is not 1890 and you are not writing for the New York Journal, if you want to ask them if they dated go ahead, no need to go all yellow press on it and use the word “Sapphic”.
I prove that I forgot everything I learned in law school yet again by talking about “common carrier” laws instead of an innkeeper’s duty to accommodate. I guess maybe it was just the commm that confused me but seriously, don’t go to law school kids, its a debt factory! ANYWAY rich people are rich, Nolan is adorbs, Amanda is murderous, and Emily is just barely keeping the circus together.
Emily decides Aiden has suffered through enough chest punching and has performed sufficient extracurricular penance that he is now eligible for smooches. He does seem pretty contrite but he also does seem pretty boring-handsome. Although god, not anywhere close to the most boring-handsome dude that will grace the cast of Revenge. Whats-his-face from season 4, I’m (not) looking at you. God your face is boring, I’m sorry but I can’t help it, your face is so boring!! Even though it is also handsome. But more importantly it is boring. Also bonus feature – Dave doing a ‘Scandinavian’ accent and being super pleased with it while he pretends to know what Borgen is.
Topics for Consideration:
Bancho Mako and Dave’s other (adorable) plastic garbage
Conrad and his Fortress of Confidence, aka the “Carry Yourself With The Confidence Of A Mediocre White Man” method
Fake Harry Potter Galactica Sports-Ball
20 Minutes Into Netflix And Candy Palace And Chill & He Gives You This Borgen
DJ Nolan’s Promo Mix: “Quaff these Well-Coiffed Beats”