Resident Evil Revelations 2 Review!


Take a gander at my Revelations 2 review over at ANN. It’s the most fun I’ve had with the serious since… Revelations 1! Not that I think there’s a ton of merit in “objective reviews,” but if there’s anything makes me be like “but what is the objective value of this???” it’s these Revelations games. I mean, I’ve played the first one almost a dozen times in three years. That’s some pretty good persistence for a game I think I gave a B+ to on ANN.


Though the plot never goes anywhere, this is a rare example of something actively trying to be cheesy and getting away with it. Like, you can’t have the happy accident of Resident Evil 1′s camp anymore, that genie is out of the bottle. But they did a good job here of hamming it up with the “Claire Sandwich” lines and stuff like that. Aside from “why is Claire ugly now??” the most popular retrograde sexism topic on GameFAQs is “why does Moira curse so much” (with its partner topic “don’t worry! she [is a proper, demure young lady who] doesn’t curse so much in the Japanese version)” but I thought that was one of the best parts of the game. Like, having her be all F-this and F-that, and “I can’t stand Barry’s granny swearing” culminating in this weirdly discomforting—yet somehow charming—father-daughter moment where Barry’s all “Fuck technology!” and Moira’s like “Fuck it right up its ass, dad!” and you’re like Woah, it’s not my job to define the standards of your familial interlocution, and I grew up in a strict, conservative Irish Catholic household so maybe my perception is skewed, but I think it’s a little weird to tell your dad to fuck something right up its ass—but hey, it seems to work out pretty well for the Burtons.

Given how far the #RememberMeMoira mythology has evolved, I think it’s hilarious that Polly, who is spoken to end in the epilogue cutscene, isn’t even shown on screen. Originally I went with that “Remember me Moira… and the other one!” because Moira was the only one of Barry’s family members *I* could remember. It really tickles me that, somehow, Polly being “the other one [whose name I can’t remember]” is almost canonical.

Poor “the other one;” always the Pollysmaid, never the ClaireBride.

Even though the review emphasizes it, it’s worth stressing how much fun I had in co-op. Graz kept trying to pass me the controller when we were playing, assuming I was bored of being Moira or Natalia, but little did she know that “hidden item hunt” is my favorite part of all games, probably why I like playing Resident Evil in the first place (the Genesis scanner in Revelations was funtastic, especially on Infernal difficulty when you start finding hidden Illegal Custom Parts in the environment), and that I was having a blast the whole time playing Moira or Natalia.


That being said, while Natalia’s brick-fu is way strong (easily a match for Bloodborne’s ogrish brick punchers, as we discovered on stream), they could’ve given her a little more to do, because once all the bricks are broken, your options as Natalia are pretty much down to “bait.” I had some sentences about that in the review, but ultimately felt like compressing it down to “they’re not 100% fully-fledged characters” got the point across. Moira’s flashlight > crowbar loop never gets old, but Natalia having to scrounge for bricks kinda sucks, especially in the last boss on Hard, where eventually you run out of bricks and have nothing to do for the rest of the fight except act cram your face into the boss while Barry shoots her. This seemed like less of a problem on Normal–the fight ended quickly enough that I didn’t run out of clay projectiles.

Though the usual style these days is dump-it-once-it’s-done, I hope someone at Capcom is considering an online patch for co-op, since the splitscreen is what would kill multiple plays through for me and Graz. Otherwise I bet we’d replay this every year or so, just like we do with Resident Evil 5. Best co-op in the series, even playing it in a tiny window. We are all better for it.