Show #515: Go Starve, You Crappy Orphan

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This show also known as: You Should’ve Defended Yourself From My Jolly Onslaught.


A podcast of swords and souls eternally retold, our first topic of 2015 is Soul Calibur, for some reason. Then, after we wend through Shovel Knight‘s lack of difficulty and surprising poignancy, puzzle over what exactly is a Lichdom: Battlemage, recount some Destiny crap, and admit our sublime appreciation of Techromancer (TECHromancer???) we finally get to taking twitter questions from users like you, not making a dent in the emails, HOT MANGA TALK regarding Cage of Eden, Limit, and Prophecy, and gushing over Moribito just before the end.

Anyway I dunno what’s up with Joel’s audio except it’s Fast Karate [whomp whomp]. I think I cut out almost all of it, but some good rejoinders were lost in the process.

Music Selection: DESTINYYYYYYY.

This show is about:


Dogs likes this shirt because it makes him feel like a Krav Magraw master.


An important moment in history.

  • Oh SHIT! Techromancer! Damn, that may be my GotY 2015! Damn, that was my Dreamcast killer app. Fuck Shenmue!

    • The Joel

      This guys is saying what we’re all thinking! Except me. I love Shenmue.

      • I love Shenmue, too, but where’s the damn robots?

  • Max

    You know, when I sent in that joke email about Quick Karate for the Refined Lady, one of the jokes in it was saying you did furniture talk. Reality is truly stranger than fiction.

  • Zanz

    I’m surprised Joel liked the Best Friends Zaibatsu boss in Shovel Knight so much.

  • James Morrall

    Wait… Joel married Kathy 10 years ago and Dave’s dad grew up during The Depression? I thought you guys were in your mid-30s.

    • The Joel

      I’m turning 32 this year. Dave is only a year older than me. That’s what light speed travel will do to you.

      • James Morrall

        So you got married young, but I’m only 5 years younger than Dave, and my GRANDMOTHER grew up before/during The Depression.


    Dave, middle school kids are, at the most, 13. I feel like you’re trying to age them a year so you can be slightly less creeped out by the fact that manga must have tweens and early teens half-naked; I think you’re lucky if kids in manga are even 12. They’re always saying “I’m a first year” or whatever the fuck.

    I only watched the final 2 episodes of Moribito because I felt like I would probably never find as good a female character as was in Moribito. Holo from Spice and Wolf is good, but that show’s done, too.