Show #298: SWIM MEET?! SWIM MEET?!


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This show also known as: Giving birth to the second upgrade in Gradius.

Maybe we would’ve liked Attack Girls Swim Team Versus The Undead if it was actually called The Girls Rebel Force of Competitive Swimmers.

Music Selection: This was a better crazy zombie movie.

The bad touch.

  • Cody

    I hate you Dave. I’ve listened to many episodes of this podcast and I’ve accepted your speech ailments but Jesus! Now I’m doing it. Every once in a while you slip into some accent from god knows where and usually it’s only for a syllable or two but it’s crossed a line. I will be talking to a friend and all of a sudden I have to stop talking because I have to ask myself, “what the fuck just happened?” Oh and don’t you say, “well if it’s so bad just don’t listen.” Dave you know full well a person can’t just stop listening to Fast Karate. It’s too good! Gah!!! Any grammatical or punctuation errors were completely intentional and not the fault of not paying attention in English class.

  • Cody

    And if that seems at all negative I blame it on the two Java Monsters I drank directly before writing it. If it’s not negative then… I don’t have anything to go after that.

  • captylor

    With great stuff like the wolf cannon talk. Then the time that dave read the shipping news.

  • Creaca

    We need another all Dave podcast where he’s been drinking. Come on FKftG, you know those are awesome.

  • devin

    lol man this podcast is beyond epic!

  • Dave

    WTF is accent.

  • Cody

    For some reason I’m singing, “I love Dave and Joel!” to the tune of I love Rock n Roll. It’s late. And did you ask what an accent is?

  • It amazes me how you guys make this movie sound like the most awesome thing since ice cream- even with the frequent reminders that it is out-and-out terrible.
    I’m having to hold myself back from buying the damn thing on amazon now.

  • Well there you have it, not DavenandJoel are going down that deep dark road of hentai. Next they will be doing Bible Black, Immorality, and Immoral Sisters. We can only pray for your safety and for shame and you all. hahaha

  • This has nothing to do with flute masturbation, a subject about which I am always happy to talk, but this past Saturday, I watched a crappy Sci-Fi movie called Pole Reversal, which in itself could be an interesting gay porno. Instead, it was about the Earth’s magnetic field being dissolved by an asteroid.

    But the President of the United States? 24 Curtis. I can’t wait until they work that into the plot. You thought Curtis was dead. You thought that chick was the President.

    You thought wrong.

  • Dave

    I a world where Tony could be resurrected, I don’t find it hard to believe the possibility for Curtis, who was shot in the neck and died in Jack’s arms, to come back. He’s probably sippin’ latte out there right now, flexing his hands in oiled leather gloves, waitin’ to punch out a bitch.

  • Maynard McGuffin

    You guys never said this movie was live action in the podcast. I thought it was anime until I saw the DVD cover, since ADV is putting it out. All the stuff you said that I thought was funny seems like it’d be creepier when real people are doing it.

  • Onomarchus

    I like the new Fast Karate editorial policy. In the olden days we would only get reviews of anime and video games in a vaguely alternating sequence. Now we get commentary on live-action American network TV show(s) and live-action Japanese pronographs. I’ve dubbed this new form of the show Ultra-Fast Karate and I non-sarcastically approve. I daren’t guess what we get next, but I salivate.

  • Wait, this was a live-action film. WTF Japan?

  • I second Onomarchus’ comment by suggesting a Fast Karate Karaoke Special!

  • BB

    Ok listen guys I have put up with a lot of shit, but this has crossed the line. LIVE ACTION!? I mean I was on board for 24 sure. I dont even like that show that much, but with the lack of video games I could understand the need for new material. But COME THE FUCK ON. What happend guys. You used to do such good shows. You know… about fucking anime! jesus I dont know any more. I think I will no longer listen to you show again. Way to go guys. I hate you.

  • Waitaminute, Dave and Joel have done live action before. Unless WILD ZERO trabscends simple movie conventions and sits on the DVD shelf in its own category: AWESOME.

  • Goddammit! Need to spellcheck my comments. I meant “transcend”.