Show #287: Damn You Korean Grocer, You Are Working For Evil!


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This show also known as: Okay, But I Really Want Some Krimpets

Jack Bauer Endorses Baby Torture. Also, Korean Grocers can’t catch a break.

Music Selection: T-Pain, consider yourself redeemed.


  • Kevin

    Hope Hawaii was good, but no fast karate makes a sad panda

    I still haven’t listened to this yet but 24 = the how to guide for do it yourself torture

  • Onomarchus

    I see Houston!

  • Maybe… they should have strapped that baby to a bomb?

  • This podcast makes me crave ice cream.

    If it helps, when in Italy I ate both Kinder beuno ice cream and Toblerone ice cream. It was magnificent.

  • Sugar-Chan

    This was one of the funnier episodes in a long time. I laughed out loud at the giant Hugs. Bless you Fast Karate, for making the work week better…always…

  • I think ElliotPage has the right idea. That baby is gon brow up.

    Next episode: Waitress girl meets “Samuel” and his voice goes into a falsetto “Didn’t you know it was me? Dubaku of the Host of Oboro”

  • The Joel

    Dubaku is totally Obero. His ability to infiltrate the government is way overpowered. Being a colonel in an African rebel army doesn’t even compare.

  • Kosef

    When you two were talking about the ice cream experiments and Joel mentioned the teeth cracking in half, I laughed out loud so hard the gum in my mouth tumbled into my throat and caused me to choke. I had to do one of those old man thumps to the chest in the middle of college classtime traffic just to swallow it. tl;dr This podcast almost killed me.

  • secret bass

    On the subject of insensitive grape drinks…

    “Its like its fuzzledumpling my throat!”

  • Kimichi Tsuzuku

    It is in fact an Orange Cola, not just a regular orange soda.

    OMG, ‘Little Hugs’ or at least a competitive brand were called Teenies (in a similar, but plainer package than the ones pictured). My parents hated those hummingbird-heart-attack-in-a-bottle drinks so we only drank them when visiting relatives during the summer. They were horrible but the sort of fake-flavor overkill of kid-focused drinks like Hi-C & Kool-aid.

    BTW, A tragic incident could have seriously been averted if someone had only invested in pentagonal restraints:

    Why are stupid people allowed to get wild animals and turn them into pets?

  • Dave

    Orange Cola sounds HORRID.

  • akeripper

    not as bad as vanilla cola…..

  • I too almost died Kosef, Perhaps my time spent in the gym lifting heavy wieghts above my face should not include the HI-larious antics of Fast Karate? But then I listen to this podcast so what the hell am I doing in the gym anyway?! On a side note I really like Cheescake ice cream with Gummy Bears at Cold Stone.

  • Hoth

    Sour Patch + Iced Cream = Sour Cream


  • Cody

    I think I’ve come to rely on this podcast in a very unhealthy way. I know it may be difficult timing and finding things to talk about but would you consider doing this show every two days or maybe make it daily? It may be too much but I this podcast is a little like a drug now and days go by and it feels like withdrawal after every episode. GAH!!!!!!

  • John

    I think it was the last podcast when both Dave and Joel mentioned that Fast Karate should be disposed of ASAP after immediate consumption. I disagree; unlike more technical podcasts that are only as useful as they are new, Fast Karate has wisdom for the ages. In its own way Fast Karate is a testament to the time it was recorded and for me at least it’s a pleasure to go back every once in a while. Cheers to you guys.

  • Oh ice cream truly the peak of my knowledge. working at Cold Stone Creamery you have the greatest job of all time. Usually working at normal retails stores you deal with grumpy customers, but with ice cream that is where you get the happy bastards that are never grumpy.

    If you go into an ice cream shop angry I think you are probably going to hell somewhere. That has to be some sort of commandment