Show #268: Anti-Matter Pumpernickle

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This show also known as: Thanks For The Pizza Pie.

People on the internet are stupid. Here’s a picture of puppies.

Music Selection: It’s so intense, but also sad. Am I allowed to use the word melancholy, or will I get my street cred revoked?

This show is about:


Now that I look at pictures of Kid from Chrono Cross I realize she’s a lot more pedo-tastic than I remembered. So now I switch my vote to the psycho blue chick from Valykria Chronicles (or Nina the shocktrooper).

Don’t look at me like I’m crazy. YOU KNOW I’M RIGHT.

  • Dude, I have a motor vehicle for moving things.

  • Although I do agree that Nina is nice, Jane is quite clearly the superior Shocktrooper. Just saying.

  • Wow, you weren’t kidding. That IS a bigger penis than your tank!

  • spooncivicR

    Hey Joel, Dat Nguyen was a Middle Linebacker not an Offensive Lineman…

  • Ian

    Pumpernickle bagels are tasty.

  • The pumpernickel at The Outback is pretty good stuff. I don’t think it’s real pumpernickel, but what do I care? I’m also eating fries covered in cheese and bacon, and a big piece of chicken also covered in cheese and bacon, and BBQ sauce. I haven’t had a steak there since I was told they were “out of medium steaks.” How can you be out of a duration of time it takes to cook a steak? Now I only eat at the Strip House on East 12th Street, because the lights are low, and the whole place is decorated like a 1950s cathouse.

    How did I end up talking about steaks again? Man, I’m hungry.

  • Dave

    Man, I was all excited because you reminded of the Outback pumpernickel, which I do remember being pretty good. Of course, as manufactured/processed food it’s straight off the “Graziella approved list” or at least I’d imagine it would be. This is a good thing: it means I get to slather the whole thing in butter and then eat it all.

    So I was excited, but then you had to talk about this weird fuckin’ Zen riddle about cooking a medium steak. Now I can’t be excited, because I’m confused. I remember once a bartender telling me to order a medium burger instead of medium rare if I wanted it faster, because there’s a constant supply of new burgers being cooked to medium at rush times so a medium burger will actually get to you faster than medium rare. I wonder if there’s a way to shoe-horn these ideas together…

    Re Shocktroopers: Nina fucking rocks. The way she “Yeehaws” when she kills a guy suggests that she is one ten gallon hat short of being a cowgirl, and that is awesome. She’s my allaround shocktrooper. Rosie’s my tank killer, I use Alex when I need a third one. I was using Cody for awhile, but Bad Back is a fucking terrible potential so now when I need a four I use this weird teenage almost-loli girl who has good potentials, but a shit personality. I can’t think of who Jane is, but a google search of character images suggests there’s not many non-pedo Shocktrooper female options left. So I’m gonna have to assume that you are, in fact, a pedo, therefore your Nina-related opinions are invalid because she’s not all MOOOOEEE or some shit like that where she cowers and says “PLEASE HIT!” before she shoots. I’m sorry that Nina is too much man for you, and that’s why you can’t appreciate her as a woman. Maybe you need to be more gay for hot butch chicks.

  • Nick

    Funny, that’s exactly what Yukari says in Persona 3, and she’s not even a loli.

  • Dustin

    Well, yeah, of course Kid is going to look pedo-tastic eight years after the game came out. Since fictional characters stay the same age, there comes a point in time where you can no longer say a character is hot without someone saying, “Uh…she’s, like, fifteen, dude.” I won’t hold your statements against you; I thought she was attractive when I was thirteen. Also, I’m glad to know there’s at least two awesome females in Valkyria Chronicles (Nina and spear-chick). Strong women aren’t as plentiful in JRPGs as I’d like them to be.

  • Dave

    They actually awesome, too, not just because I think they’re hot. The hotness is just a happy side-benefit.

    I would list all the awesome/hot characters in Valkyria Chronicles, but neither you nor I has that much time to waste in a day.

  • Re: Shocktroopers

    Sir, I am offended. I am in no way some idiot moe fetishist. In fact, I removed Darcy and Nancy BECAUSE they were based on idiot moe stereotype garbage, and Nancy fits the exact description you listed above!

    Plus, I didn’t have Nina to choose from when selecting my squad, and still don’t, It appears that the characters you can recruit from are randomised from a larger pool. So even if I wanted to use her, I cannot!

    On butchness: my best Lancer at the moment is Yoko, the 48-year old Barmaid. She’s more butch than bloody Largo.

  • ElliotPage

    Wait, I meant Dallas rather than Darcy. There goes that arguement.

    Either way, Jane is a useful character, especially if you constantly make bad tactical decisions like I do. Lancer Killer, Imperial Killer, and Sadist all in one.

  • Dave

    Because you mentioned Yoko, I’ll let it slide. I’M KEEPING MY EYE ON YOU.

  • You could just order the Alice Springs Chicken. I mean, chicken is no steak, but it is covered in cheese, BBQ sauce, and bacon.

  • Mitch Dyer

    Does anyone else find that snipers are only useful at the start of a mission? That, or when you spawn them at a captured base? They can barely move to get in a good position, and it’s a waste of CP to use it on a sniper when I could use it on a scout who can get shit done.

  • A.L.

    I have love for chrono cross even though I only managed to get about 3 hours into the game before getting irrepairably stuck…

    P.S. I need that song, where can I get it?

  • wintersnowcloud

    Hey someone made a football reference and I actually got it…
    I’m not a big sports guy. But, I’ve lived it Pittsburgh for 4 years so I’ve absorbed names from the morning news.
    Of course at this point in the future (comparitively to the podcast), Hines Ward is retired.