Show #134: I Have To Stop Saying ‘Vagina’ Into A Microphone

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In this episode Joel and I have some very positive things to say about Otakon 2007.

This episode also known as: “The Bruce Vilanch Of the Internet”

Opener: The Blue Hearts – Linda Linda
The Blue Hearts – Linda Linda

Special Linda Linda theme music infused for the benefit of Noah/Erin of the ninjaconsultants, Podcast Panel audio is courtesy of Mike Dent from R5 Central

This show is about:

The Chick from Mythbusters

Space Guns (tee-hee)

N’Gai Croal (dark Jamaican god)


  • That podcaster panel–specifically that dastardly ninja woman on that podcaster panel–speaks vicious lies about my person, for I have never stolen material from he whom Jeremy Kaufmann is a doppleganger of, Mr. P.T. Chapman. In fact, I don’t think that dude has ever told a joke. He is a jokeless being devoid of jokes who would no doubt relish that yesterday at work someone told me that my voice and demeanor reminded them of “The Cage.”

    Gerald has told me very little about his Otakon experience, presumably saving it for his Otakon report. I think it’s ultimately for the best that he was on the gekiga panel instead of me, since he is less likely to berate convention staff to their face for being stupid compared to me. Then we’d all get banned from Otakon, at which point I would win an as-yet undeclared race between myself and renowned Internet sex symbol WT Snacks. It sure must suck being him, what with all the people who are just awestruck in silence to gaze upon his form, capable only of screaming some catchphrase at him then peeling out. But he deserves his face since he loves J-Rock and gothic lolita. I bet he’s got ball-jointed dolls.

    I can’t say I blame the non-drinkers at your party for being extremely hesitant to own up to the fact that they were, in fact, non-drinkers. If you’re a non-drinker in an environment where people are expected to drink–which is to say most normal social gatherings–and you then proceed to politely decline to drink alcohol by saying noncommital things like “no, I’m okay,” what usually happens 75% of the time is that you’re prompted again and again until you’re forced to say “actually, I don’t drink.” Then people immediately think you’re the biggest douche around. That is no different than the impression I’d make anyway, which is why “no thanks, I don’t drink, but I’ll partake of your fruit juices in an attempt to force everyone to eventually have to resort to soda only for drink mixing” is my very first response. Normal people with aspirations of winning friends and influencing people probably don’t want to leave such dread “that guy’s a control freak and I don’t trust him” impressions.

    You guys should come to Anime Weekend Atlanta.

  • Daryl speaks the truth. My sense of humor was surgically removed at birth, and replaced with a wireless Wi Fi connection. So I’m not funny, but at least I get decent bandwidth.

    As for stealing jokes from Fast Karate, that’s not quite true. I’ve stolen catch-phrases, references, movie ideas, and show note lay-outs, but jokes? Never!

    Daryl is also right about the non-drinking thing. And I could see how it could be a little intimidating to admit something like that in the presence of a man capable of demolishing three pitchers of Yuengling by himself. I’m sure that similar to the protagonist in “I am Legend”, alcoholic beverages whisper tales of terror about Dave Riley to their little alcoholic beverage offspring.