Show #104: She’s Not Even Cute!

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On this extraordinarily boring episode of Fast Karate Joel and I don’t have a topic, so we just talk about …what we’ve been playing?

Opener: Resident Evil: Code Veronica – The Code Is Veronica (by Sanae Kasahara)
Ender:
Secret of Mana – Prophecy (by Hiroki Kikuta)

This show is about:


Bad Haircuts


Kelly Clarkson


Extinction Terrors

  • Erwin Rosales

    Getting a PS3 maybe by next x-mas.
    And waiting for the secret project and fighting game show.

  • The human papilloma virus, or HPV, is genital warts, not herpes! Trust me…

    Don’t believe me? Ask that epic mount hottie with the bangs.

  • MC Burnett

    The only prostitutes, or “escorts,” that commandeer that kind of rate are the SUPER high class ones, like pornstars.

    Other good things to look out for on Craig’s List: girls who post looking a “ski instructor” (coke supplier) and posts by “girls” (gay men) offering their bodies, but you must email a picture of wiener.

    I used to read Craig’s List like a BOOK.

  • Another craigslist favorite of mine is the potheads asking for “kind buds, no seedy people” It is my sincere hope that they don’t think they’re being clever, much less fooling the watchful eyes of any po-po. I mean, come on people. Come on.

    Craigslist is hilarious, though. I read it every single day.

    As for HPV… warts, herpes… when you get down to the nitty gritty, does it really matter? Neither are things I want on my ding-dong.

  • I knew a guy who worked in a burrito place down in Gainesville, FL, and the cook there used to deal pot out of the back door of the kitchen. His customers would come by and use the key phrase, “I’m here for the veggie burrito from your joint,” followed by fits of stoned giggling at how awesomely hilarious and covert it all was. I always imagined a bunch of stoners getting home, unwrapping their burrito, and finding it full of meat and beans at the precisely the same moment some uptight minister (one of those outraged censors who are always having fits on metal videos from the 1980s) bites into a burrito of pure pot. Of course, i also assume that more than one stoner got the idea to just light up the burrito and smoke that like a big ol’ Snoop Dog blunt.

    As for prostitute ads — cops almost never pursue such solicitations. They’re more interested in street workers or cathouses that operate out of residential apartment buildings.

    One of my early jobs after moving to New York was writing ad copy and maintaining the website for a local escort service, splitting my time between that and working as a freelance travel writer. Now I write email client configuration instructions. Awesome.

  • One of my early jobs after moving to New York was writing ad copy and maintaining the website for a local escort service

    I now have a new dream job.

    Anyway, funny story about prostitutes in apartment buildings. Before Jerry and Skabs moved in with me, they lived in one of a set of four high-rises. When they moved out they… didn’t leave it in the best condition. Skabs OR Jerry is fine drunk, but the two of them together is like dealing with that boss in Chrono Trigger who’s a total pussy when he’s the two dudes by themselves, then whips your ass when you beat him up and he combines form. To be fair, though, most of the damage was done by their retard friends. Specifically, Skabs’s retard friend, singular (Heather).

    So they end up owing something like a grand (or maybe two!) due to damages and early withdrawl and interest and shit. And then this story breaks that there was a prostitution ring operating out of their building, in fact, the very apartment above them was one of these dens of iniquity. The management goes crazy, fires everybody, and burns all the records. Some time later Skabs calls about paying the bill and the people there tell him they have no record of him ever living there. His reply is something like: “IthinkIhavetherwrongnumberokaybye!!”

    Saved by whores! :D

  • Thomas P

    I always wanted to work late nights in a porn store offering chocolate chip cookies to all the creepy perverts buying shit simply to turn it all around on them. Still, escort ad copy guy would be a pretty fantastic job too.

  • Jive Turkey

    That WoW chick…..I’d hit that.

  • RJ Bubel

    Dave or David (do you care?) and (The) Joel.

    Greetings, from Videoland….thanks to you Dave I haven’t done any of my work or school work…..Puzzle Quest is quite exciting, although extremely frustrating. As for the Wii….when is the first game actually coming out? I don’t count that disaster known as Red Steel, I haven’t had a chance to play Paper Mario but I am sure my brother will get it sooner or later, therefore I will play it. As for releases looks like Shadowrun for 360 (end of may) is the only thing even worth looking at…and even then that’s debatable.

    About Bangs up there, I’m not sure who was that desperate to get busy with that thing, but then again when it doesn’t cost you anything since those people probably are using gold mining glitches.

    P.S. Can you get HPV from listening to someone…:(

    P.S.S Since Dave just bought a PS3 does that mean that the 60GB will be dropping in price soon?

  • kolibri

    Pandas would have died out years ago if only they weren’t so damn cute. I’m thinking it’s part of evolution too – their main advantage really is that they appear child-like to humans who want to take care of them.

  • Bubel: Shadowrun looks to be really cool. There’s been really positive buzz about it on the internet, and I loves me some FASA. Even if it’s not an RPG, it could still be really fun.

    P.S. Can you get HPV from listening to someone?:(

    Yes, and you did.

    P.S.S Since Dave just bought a PS3 does that mean that the 60GB will be dropping in price soon?

    I guess I’ve mentioned my curious stigma on the podcast, then? I think the curse is broken just by virtue of the fact that I don’t wait as long to buy consoles now. The 360 is the first console I bought that didn’t have a price drop within a month of me buying it.

    Pandas would have died out years ago if only they weren?t so damn cute. I?m thinking it?s part of evolution too – their main advantage really is that they appear child-like to humans who want to take care of them.

    Neoteny is a bitch. It’s what’s keeping my cat alive, unfortunately. If he wasn’t so cute, he would’ve had some serious harm inflicted upon him.

  • RJ Bubel

    I guess I?ve mentioned my curious stigma on the podcast, then?

    Yeah in an earlier episode you noted that “if any wanted to buy a videogame consoles the best time to buy one one is a few weeks after I do, since the price will probably have dropped by then”.

    Also any plans on reviewing Romeo X Juliet? I want to hear your take after the Gankustusuo Podcast. It’s only had a two episodes releases thus far so you might have to wait a bit before you could do a review. Keep up the good work see ya Saturday

  • Dustin

    Oh God. I remember hearing that “Epic Mount” story from one of the 1up.com podcasts. I think it was GFW Radio, but it might have been Legendary Thread…eh, that’s inconsequential. I sincerely hope neither of the participants ever have children. Anyone who becomes THAT obsessed with a game shouldn’t be polluting our already troubled gene pool any further.

    On a lighter note, Panzer Dragoon Orta is now compatible with the Xbox 360! Huzzah!

  • Jive Turkey

    @ Dustin

    I don’t know what yer smokin’. That WoW chick is smokin’ yo. I’d be grabbing those crazy bangs.

  • DensityDuck

    Another key word: “Tina Turner tickets”.

    Tina = Christina = Chris = Crystal = as in “crystal meth”.